Scanned

[freethink/freewrite stretching sesh]

I want to get mad, so mad I cry. So mad I rant and rant and scream at the ones I’m mad at. I want to feel any numbness, any apathetic feelings in me disappear and be replaced by 100% conviction. I want to feel my throat get sore from yelling about the things that dissatisfy me. I want to scream, pure and corporeal.

I want to then fall asleep, face still damp with the hot, salty tears, and I want the complete blankness of dreamless sleep to cover me. When I wake up, I want ego to disappear, and clarity to be brought back in one sudden jolt. The sky will be dark with rain filled clouds. When I wake up, the clouds will be pouring out the rain. I’ll hear the droplets on the roof and on the plants outside, and I will lie in bed under my blankets and feel pure emptiness. My insides will be a windless ocean (Kona winds blowing gently).

I wonder where our soul lives. Is it behind the glassiness of our eyes? Does it want to escape our bodies like a person stuck under frozen ice? Can it escape? Or is it in our cells, our voice, our spit, our urine? If we do have a soul, can it be scanned?

Can you see it?

V-Day Celebration Book

This is my first time ever doing something like this, so I’m really excited. I hope this turns out ok!

Since Valentines Day is coming up, I got inspired to do something related to V-day (Eve Ensler Vagina Monologue style).

This is what I want: On an 8.5 X 11 in piece of paper (any thickness), I want you to express how you feel about love, Valentines day, vaginas, women, relationships, no relationships, ex-boyfriends/girlfriends, etc in the most creative and cathartic way possible. Illustrated poetry is great too. You can send as many as you want.

Then I’m going to get them professionally scanned, lay the pages out on indesign, and send them over to Lulu to have it printed. I’ll send you a copy of the book if you send your address and a bit of a monetary contribution along with the piece of art.

THE DEADLINE IS BY THE END OF THE MONTH (FEB 29).

Please give me feedback on my idea. There might be a better way to have it all organized. I am open to suggestions.

Send your art to my address:

Lindsea
280 N. Kainalu Dr
Kailua, Hawaii 96734
United State

I also posted this on http://nervousness.org (a forum for mail-art lovers)

living in faded violet and mars black

All of a sudden I got really sad, and I don’t know why.

I feel like a still life watercolor.

(original art: watercolors, photoshop, digital slr)

(click to view bigger)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

p.s. oddly enough, it might have something

to do with leaving blogger.

I’ll be ok,

though.

It’s good to be sad

sometimes.

These are my sick art (an ode)

And so it started.

Focused, as you can see, on my task.

Again, the artist must take time to pose for photos. She is a “photo-whore”.

Hello, hello. Almost done

Shot from above. Nearly done, when suddenly Georgie feels like a romp in the yard.

So alas, I couldn’t finish. But I am almost there.

you can swallow a pint of blood before you throw up

cold, hardened shrimp
for dinner
pealing away the shell and the legs
as the screen flashes
eyes glass over
so easily they break in my fingers
one by one, the juice
falling onto my red lips
drip drip till i’m finished
a pile of broken exoskeletons

i see my fridge full of
condiments,
my closet filled with
close knit cotton,
polyester, and
silk embroidered jeans
that i think i own
but that actually
own me

now i spend my time
browsing online
looking for the
scented candle
that best describes
my
personality
it takes up all my time

and my fingers still
smell like the
broken
bodies, miniature in their
composure compared
to me
i’ll have to wash myself
off before i’ve
shaken free the
rotting seaweed smell, fishy
to the core
using my oil free
epidermis scrub ($20),
of course

Quick and Dirty Facts: Art School

As the first semester of school passes, college is starting to frequent the mind of more and more students. We’re wondering about what college we’d like to go to…Harvard, Princeton, NYU, Yale, UCLA, Stanford, Berkeley, California Institute of the Arts… or maybe not. There are colleges for everybody, depending on what they want to do when we all grow up. For some, it’s easy; they’ve already picked out their school, and all they have to do is apply and hope for the best. For others, college is as big a mystery as the meaning of life. Whatever your attitude, it is ok. We have time, and a lot to choose from. There are thousands of colleges in the United States, but we’ve only heard of a relatively small margin of them, and only a few of us have explored the possibilities of an art-focused school.

I wanted to explore and learn more about art school because I love to do art. It’s as simple as that. I feel happy when I do it, and I think that I would enjoy deep focused learning in that area. So, before I made any decisions, I set out to defines art school, and learn what the applying process is like. I also wanted to know what my options are after college graduation.

Art schools, I discovered, differ from regular schools in a couple of ways. Right now, the most important difference would be the application. Instead of the typical college application, filled with letters of rec, essays, transcripts, and SAT scores; the art schools require a more appropriate representations. They still require an essay, a letter of rec, a transcript, and sometimes SAT scores, but they mostly look at an art portfolio. The art portfolio is the most important factor in the application process. Some colleges, such as the California Institute of the Arts, say that “admission is based totally on talent. [They] need to see a portfolio of recent work. Test scores, GPA and class rank are not considered.”

But there are art colleges that require strong academics. The idea is that each college has a unique set of requirements, so I should chose the school first, and then make their needs, my needs. Despite the requirement for solid scores, the portfolio remains the key aspect of the application, and it should show strong technical skill, creativity, and a variety of media (meaning I use different types of paints, charcoal, graphite, etc).

But I can’t get in on skill alone. I must be extremely motivated and passionate as an artist, and I must be very committed to my art. Art cannot just be a recreational activity. Carole Schaffer, the Associate Dean at Parsons School of Design in New York says she looks for “discipline, drive and seriousness about the hard-work involved in becoming a designer.” Art school shouldn’t be a back up school if I end up getting lower grades than I expected. I need to be ready to make art my life.

So, what do I do once I get in? The majors range from fashion design, to art history, to film, to fine arts, to graphic design, to interior design, to medical illustration…and the list goes on and on. Currently, I’m interested in fine arts, film, or graphic design. But anything a person can imagine doing is covered, and if it isn’t the colleges will usually allow you to create your own. So I go to college, hone my skillz until I think I’m ready to go out into world, and then make some $$.

This is where the problems come up. Depending on my major, I can either work for a salary, or I can become a self-employed freelance artist. About 63 percent of artists and related workers are self- employed. If I want to become an art director, expect about $35,500 a year to start with. If I’m aiming to be a fine artist, I should be prepared to live off of $17,390 a year for a while. Though I may become successful while I’m still alive, the chances are slim. The most expensive painting by a living artist ever sold was $81.5 million dollars. The talented artist was Jasper Johns (the art is on the right). I wouldn’t be too optimistic.

If being an artist is my true calling, none of this will matter much. It is a path that has many trials, like all others, but it will absolutely be worth it if it’s what I know I absolutely love. I’m not sure what I want to do with this. It’s hard to consciously box myself in like this. If I go to art school, I am going to improve my art skills. I will come out of there accomplished and ready to start my life as a very talented artist, to follow my dream in that area.

But what if, true to my personality, I switch gears and decide to do something else completely different? Will it be easy to transfer? Can I even do that? I have to know that art is what I want to do with the rest of my life. At this point, to be honest with myself, art is not the only thing I want to do. I want to write. I want to make music. I want to travel. I want to learn more about Environmental Science.

After doing this research, I decided that making a portfolio isn’t a bad thing, whether I want to go to art school or not. My plan of action will include making a kick ass portfolio, and taking AP Art senior year. Who knows? Maybe it will help me get into regular colleges too.

BeyondPassion (a rough draft)

passions to be
remembered, not just
forgotten in the rat
race, this one big face
of society
don’t play with me
don’t hate me
fake me
sexually harass me
cause I am you and you
are
me
there are no boundaries

when you raped me
did you remember
you have a mother who birthed
me
did you remember where
you came from
hearing the drum
of adrenaline
fight it, friend
cause I am you and you
are
me
when you hurt
me
you
hurt your
sanity

did you pay for me?
paid for the minutes
of ecstasy
in between me
dollar bills don’t
fulfill me
but I can’t leave this
it will follow me
and all I have left
are wasted passions
stained white on the
newest fashions
emptiness
inside
cause I am you and you
are me
when you pay for me
you bring hatred to the he
and cheapen the sacred she

I’ve joined the cult of
domesticity
swearing on chastity
before you marry me
cleaning the pantry
before you have sex
with me
raising the children
becoming the anti villain
becoming what you dream for
when you’re work-bored
what you cheat on when your
passion’s bored
feeling these binds on my hands
when I’m stuck at home and
I can’t vote
I can only hope
we don’t have a voice
we don’t have a choice
but speak, sister speak
cause I am you and
you are me
and you have made
my history

we volunteer to stop the violence
hone the campaigns
of more than abstinence
giving voice to the
silence
binding ourselves in an
alliance
of humanity
of men-and-women affinity
leaving behind golden vanity
sexist racist
profanity
and battling anti-organity
holding to truth,
love, and integrity
finding peace above the piles of grimy
blood soaked history
cause I am you and you
are
me
there are no boundaries

The stanzas are different points of view of women and their experiences. None of them are mine directly, but they are from stories that I’ve heard from friends and family. Some of them are historical, like the stanza about the Cult of Domesticity. They were inspired by books I’m reading about women’s suffrage. I haven’t been raped or sexually abused or entered into prostitution. But these things exists, and if I feel compelled to write about them, both to spread awareness, and to express pent up sadness and frustration, then that’s my choice.

This is just a rough draft. I wanted to try out the slam poetry style. I’m probably going to come back and hack away/change a whole bunch of stuff. It’s me tonight wanting to speak up about some things I’ve been thinking about. I originally recorded a podcast telling the story of the women in my family, but it got too personal and I didn’t want to publish private business of people other than myself.

So, allegorically yours,
Lindsea

This afternoon.

I took a five hour nap and made this Love and Logic poster and GUNSHOTTOTHEHEAD (while watching horror short films). Now I’m going to bed.

Some Recents

wall (mixed media)

bodies (charcoal and oil pastels)

is this love? (painting)

brass (charcoal)

what? (print)femme fatale (watercolors)

portfolio (mixed media)

bad days (print)

poetry (watercolor)

leonardy (acrylics)

Ka Wai Ola (Lit Mag) poster
Zine submission

Your Revolution Will Not Be Televised

A couple of things…

The first is this delectable band called Le Rev. This is their myspace page www.myspace.com/lerev. I would say they are sort of a trip pop band. Very enjoyable. Check out their videos too, because my internet friend Ryan Reyes helped make them and is in them! He is very funny, and if you need a good laugh, his youtube account is pimplywimp. I have spent many a hour in the computer lab with my headphones on watching his videos, chuckling to myself like some deranged crack addict.

Aren’t they just the cutest?

The second thing is…Girl Fest! I’m volunteering for Hawaii’s festival, happening in a couple of weeks. I HIGHLY suggesting going. You will hear fabulous local bands play, jam to the top slam poets, observe creative and intriguing art pieces, and to top it all off, support womens rights. Go to this website for more details: girlfesthawaii.org

p.s. the title of this post is a somewhat obscure reference that does actually connect to the subject matter. can you figure it out, o smart invisible readers? with or without google/wikipedia?